2007’s Fall Television Pilots, Reviewed

Tell Me You Love Me (Showtime):

Rampant penises, bared breasts, and senior citizens having oral sex! No, I’m not talking about my bachelor party — Showtime’s new drama is unafraid to bare all, and thus the show consists almost entirely of full-frontal and half-frontal nudity. Now, I’m all for sex and nudity in my television, but unfortunately, controversy doesn’t help the stilted writing and lackluster production of Showtime’s new offering. D

 

Cane (CBS):

Jimmy Smits plays a dark, relentless, and definitely Cuban step-son of a rum czar who must protect the business and his family from the evil-doings of competitors. Great pilot, Jimmy does a great job, and I sure hope the show takes off. I’ve missed Jimmy. B+

 

 

 

The Big Bang Theory (CBS):

My favorite from this fall’s new shows. It’s nothing new, of course: two dorky guys, a hot blonde girl who just moved in next door, romantic tensions abound. It does pull it off quite well, though; both main characters function as malaprops to a hilarious degree, and the writing is intelligent and low-brow simultaneously. I hope this show takes off. A-

 

 

Chuck (NBC):

Cheesy, but not in a good way. For a comedy show, not much in the way of laughs, but there were a few. I sighed a lot. It won’t last. That’s all I have to say about that. D+

 

 

 

 

Gossip Girl (The CW):

Take a few casting rejects from The O.C., use the omniscient narrator from Desperate Housewives, and add a relatively new phenomenon (in this case, blogging), and you’ve got a new TV show! Like The O.C., everybody looks like they’re in their late 20’s, and every character seems a carbon copy of each other. I give it half a season before it dies a rightful death. F

 

 

K-Ville (FOX):

Potential. K-Ville has a lot of it. Set in post-Katrina N’awlins, the pilot for K-Ville has a lot of cop stuff: car chases, shoot-outs, good ol’ fashioned detective work, cop-buddy dynamic, a habitually screaming police captain… They tried to fit a bit of everything, but the show does show a lot of potential, and it ends with a cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Who’ll Stop the Rain,” which was a nice, if not heavy-handed touch. C+

 

Bionic Woman (NBC):

I’m not sure what went wrong at NBC headquarters this season, but their other (the first being the dismal, unfunny comedy Chuck) flagship pilot was Bionic Woman, a remake of the old show of the same name.

It’s quite godawful. Horrifying special effects, almost comically bad acting, and a script that makes me want to bite the cable box. Can’t see this show lasting. Fail. F

 

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC):

This new show could go either way. The acting is wonderful, to say the least. If the writing can keep us interested (which means they’ll need to keep away from the cliche formula of rich family vs. the world) then this show will last. C

 

 

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